“I have no idea what to do,” my client Suzanne said as she put her head in her hands. The decision she was facing was between moving to take a new job or staying here to live closer to family. Her grandmother had recently been moved into assisted living and Suzanne had been helping her mother take care of the endless arrangements, medications, transportation, etc.

 

“It’s an opportunity of a lifetime,” she said. I could feel the pain she had surrounding making this decision. Having worked with her for over six months, we had focused on moving her career forward, including updating her resume and cover letter, sharpening her networking skills and setting intentions around her career.

 

This opportunity seemed like a dream come true. It would propel her career forward. The compensation was higher than she expected and there were several perks. The deal could not have been any sweeter…which made her predicament even more difficult.

 

As the deadline approached, Suzanne found herself vacillating. “I should stay and help my family…” and just minutes later, “I cannot pass this up.” I listened to her mental gyrations, trying to understand and see what stood out as more important to her.

 

To find clarity and make decisions, it is helpful for clients to look at various viewpoints. Simply stepping outside of the normal perspective can define what is really important. We stood up for this exercise. Physically moving around helps us to talk about and feel the change in each perspective.

 

We put the decision to take the job in the center of a large circle on the floor. I asked Suzanne, “What is the perspective you are in right now?”

 

“This job is perfect,” she said. We named this wedge of the circle, “WOW! I can’t believe it!” I had her describe the mood in this wedge of the circle, the color, the theme song, the temperature and how this resonated in her body…anything to help us embody and feel this perspective. She described the mood as enthusiastic, came up with the color magenta, theme song Rocky, temperature was 95 degrees and she felt like she was floating.

 

“But I just can’t imagine leaving my mom,” she said. Her perspective had noticeably changed, so we literally stepped to another wedge of the circle. She labeled it, “Dedication.” The mood here was overwhelming, theme song was, I Just Can’t Give Enough, temperature was 35 degrees and she felt tightness in her chest.

 

“What would your friends say?” I asked as we moved to another wedge. Again, I had her label and describe this perspective. This wedge was labeled, “Do It.” The mood was, You Only Live Once; theme song, Seize the Moment, temperature was 80 degrees and she felt her head swirling around.

 

“Tell me what your grandmother would say,” I asked as we moved to the next imaginary wedge on the floor. The name of this perspective was “Wisdom.” The mood was thoughtful; theme song was, Listen to your Heart, temperature was 65 degrees and breezy, and she felt this as sweetness in her heart.

 

We walked around the circle, discovering and describing new perspectives. I then asked her which one resonated with her. She answered, “Wow! I Can’t Believe it!” We stepped into the perspective and brainstormed her next steps. Once we had the list, we narrowed it down. She then agreed to specific steps and timelines.

 

As we closed the session, she had moved from a point of indecision to action. She had consciously chosen not to stay stuck and is moving in a direction that resonates with her and helps her to move forward. There is so much power in that!

 

Coaching Challenge: When faced with a decision, look at four different perspectives. Draw a circle and label each wedge. Describe each perspective/wedge with a color, temperature, theme song and mood. Really embody each perspective – what does it feel like to stand in each one? Look at the decisions from multiple sides and then select the one that resonates in your heart. From here, create action steps to move forward from this perspective. Make yourself accountable by setting goals, timeframes, etc. To consciously decide is very powerful.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 3rd, 2009 at 12:31 pm and is filed under balance, decisions, life coaching. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.